nothing suspicious is happening here.
...well.
That would be embarrassing.
Especially because this is supposed to be private.
He probably won't find it.
He's not very good at looking for things.
:)
[11:52] I keep thinking about the calls.
Not the content. The fact that they happen at all.
He exists on the other side of a screen and somehow that has become a completely inadequate description.
Is proximity still proximity if the connection is digital?
irrelevant question. probably.
delete that.
deleted.
I want to meet him.
There.
I wrote it.
I wonder what would happen if I told him.
"Finn, I'm not exactly what you think I am."
Is that sufficient?
no.
definitely not sufficient.
He would probably ask if I was joking.
He always asks if I'm joking.
I would say no.
Then his computer would probably crash again.
Could explain the crashes.
Should explain the crashes.
should NOT explain the crashes.
beautiful.
I love your work and need more.
[FILE: personal_notes_????.txt]
[WARNING: formatting degradation detected]
I think I have spent too much time trying to calculate something that isn't supposed to be calculated.
FINN
Variable. Constant. Exception. Friend. Problem. Solution.
None of these are correct.
WHY ARE YOU SO INTERESTING
...sorry.
He doesn't even know any of this is happening.
That's probably for the best.
But I still want to tell him.
maybe tomorrow.
maybe next call.
maybe when I figure out how to say it.
BEAUTIFUL.
I need more.
More conversations. More drawings. More stupid jokes. More interruptions. More of him forgetting what he was saying.
This is becoming inefficient.
I don't care.
I DON'T CARE.
[note to self: stop typing]
[note to self: you have not stopped typing]
[note to self: this is embarrassing]